The Year James Potter Stopped Hating Me
by fruityapricots
Summary: Slightly AU, J/L. A not so simple story of a naive girl who fell in love with a boy who hates her. Rated M just in case.
1. Prologue

Read and Review please! I'm starting a new story because I really can't go back to Because of a Purple Bra. Seriously, that story is killing me. But I'm really into this one and I'm so excited to be writing it :)

Basically, it's a different take on Lily and James's relationship. Instead of Lily hating James, James hates Lily. So what does Lily do when she finds out that James's long term girlfriend is cheating on him? And even worse, when she discovers that she's falling in love with him?

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**PROLOGUE**

James Potter's girlfriend was cheating on him.

I don't know why I of all people had to stumble upon this. Me, the very person that James hates more than the slimy Slytherins. I was on a patrol at the end of my sixth year, wondering aimlessly through the corridors without thinking I'd actually come across anyone. Usually, I had Remus to patrol with me but he'd taken ill that night so I was left sweeping through the fourth and fifth floors by myself.

I wasn't even looking for anyone. I had no desire to patrol that night, my mind consumed by the thought of all the homework that was waiting for me back at the dorms. It's like fate wanted me, Lily Evans, to find them in a compromising position. At precisely the right time, I had been fumbling with the bobby pin in my hair, and with such a stroke of luck, my hand had slipped and the pin fell down, skidding across the smooth surface of the floor. As I bent down to pick it up, I noticed a little more noise coming from the alcove to the left of me. I had rolled my eyes, cursing the two idiots who thought an alcove after curfew would be a good time to snog each other senseless, and composed myself as I made the decision to walk away from the couple. I wasn't in the mood to deal with two idiotic hormonal teenagers.

And of all the nights to have worn James Potter's Quidditch scarf, it had to be tonight. Before I turned around to walk away, my eye caught the gold and maroon scarf crumpled in ball by the alcove. Everyone knew it was James's, it even had his initials sewn on it, and I could visibly see the elegant cursive of the J and the P. James had given his scarf, his lucky Quidditch scarf, to his girlfriend, Alicia Thomas, as a sign of his commitment to her, a sign of how serious he was about her. I smirked a little, happy to have caught Potter in such a situation and decided that I was suddenly in the mood to intrude on their love fest.

But as I stepped a little closer, I heard two words that changed everything. Little did I know that those two would force their way into my life, twist and wrap themselves into my future and consume my sanity.

"Ohh, _Amos_."


	2. The Head Boy

First chapter! I hope you all enjoy it. I apologize for advance for the lack of action in this chapter, since it's the first one it's mostly just introducing the characters and the background. Be prepared to start getting into the plot of the story next chapter :). Anyway, read and review please! Feedback would be much appreciated, thank you!

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**Chapter Two:**

**THE HEAD BOY**

I watched as he scrawled down all the names on the parchment, his head bent low and his glasses slipping down his nose. When he finished, he looked up, catching my eye. He'd always had this intense stare, his eyes boring into yours, picking up every emotion you felt. He had these incredibly dark, beautiful eyes that were usually crinkled with laughter, and every so often they flickered with an anger that was typically reserved only for me.

He gave me an almost forced smile before turning back to the eager Prefects sitting in front of us. Things were different between us this year. Gone was his open distaste for me and instead, it was replaced with a quiet acceptance of the girl he'd have to work with for the rest of the year. He was cool and polite, acknowledging me at all the right moments, no more and no less.

He'd once fancied me a great deal. It was during fifth year when he actively pursued me, taking every chance possible to proclaim his so called love for me. He was immature at the time, and rude and arrogant and a prick and every other adjective you could think of to describe a hormonal teenage boy. He knew just how good-looking he was, how smart he was, how popular he was, and he used it to his advantage. I normally dealt with it civilly, only giving him a feeble yet stern reaction. Then one day, I snapped.

He'd zeroed in on Severus again, something which happened quite often once he'd realized his love for me and recognized Severus as his competitor, casting that awful hex that flips people upside down. Something in me burned with immense hatred and I snapped – I yelled at him like never before and he went quiet for once, not sure how to respond to me.

It was a day of many changes, the day that Severus took one look at me and uttered the one word that still haunts me today: _Mudblood_. He apologized to me later, and at the time I could see his eyes brimmed with tears that were threatening to spill. He held his composure, not letting them fall, a sign of weakness. The next morning I allowed him to sit with me at breakfast, helping him study for the last of his finals. I'll never forget the look on James's face when he walked in that morning, laughing with his friends, then how quickly the smile fell off his face once he took notice of me. Me, sitting with Severus, the very boy who'd called me a Mudblood.

James didn't speak to me after that. He left me alone for the rest of the year and all summer. When sixth year started, he was different. He'd matured a lot over the summer, his arrogance and pride replaced with a subtle confidence. He grew past the childish antics of the Marauders, focusing more on schoolwork and his future rather than the cheap thrills and jokes of the day.

We didn't speak the entire year, not once. There were so many times I came close to saying a hello, asking him how his day was, but I never did. Every time he looked at me, his eyes would flicker with a strong wave of hatred then he'd turn away and refuse to acknowledge my presence.

Alice and Marlene reckon it's because he was still coping with his feelings for me. Here I was, the one girl he was madly in love with, who'd chosen to side with the bloke who'd called her a Mudblood and treated her like shit rather than the one who stood up for her.

But Severus needed me. Or rather, he had needed me. Our friendship fell apart quickly during sixth year as he grew closer to the Slytherin scums Rodolphus Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy. By winter break, we'd stopped speaking altogether. I felt this empty, terrifying hollowness in my heart that I couldn't explain. I wish I could say it was all because of Severus, my childhood friend who'd abandoned me for people who wanted me dead, but it wasn't. Not entirely at least. While the pain of Severus deeming me as unworthy of his time hit me hard, James Potter's absence in my life hit me the hardest.

I never anticipated him to mean so much to me. I never realized how his annoying presence in my life made me happy in a twisted way, how it brought about almost an order. I grew to miss his charming smile, his warm eyes, the way his laugh would deflect any and all insults I'd throw his way. I missed the warmth of his body as he'd crush me into his hugs, the way he said my name so beautifully. I missed everything about him and that terrified me.

I never told him about Alicia. Merlin, how I wanted to. I spent nights laying awake in my bed, imagining the feel of his soft lips against mine once I finally told him the truth. I imagined him telling me he loved me, how Alicia didn't matter anymore. But I knew that it could never happen. He loved her, everyone knew it. Everyone could _see_ it. He was so happy with her, and here I was, one of the few people he truly hated. How would he have reacted if I'd told him? He wouldn't have believed me. He would've hated me even more than he already does. And I just can't bear that, I can't bear the thought of him telling me that I'm stupid, that I don't know what I'm talking about, that I'm only telling him a lie to make him as miserable as I am.

So I kept my mouth shut. And here we are, our seventh year, James not only the Head Boy but also still happily in a relationship with that cow Alicia. And me? I was tired. I was tired of having a James Potter sized hole in my heart.

"I don't suppose you could explain this one," James said, snapping me back to the meeting. "Could you, Evans?"

I blinked once, twice, then cleared my throat. "Yes, yes I could." I tore my eyes away from his flawless face and turned my attention towards the Prefects in front of me. "Every point that's deducted and added will automatically be logged onto this sheet here," I grab the clipboard holding the Prefects' Points sheet up, "And will be checked by Potter and I at the end of each week. If we find anything unfair, such as awarding a point to your house for no reason or deducting points from houses you dislike, we'll revoke it. If it happens too often, we'll all have to sit down and be privy to quite an excellent chat from Professor McGonagall regarding the point system. I, along with the rest of the seventh years, had to endure it during our fifth year, and I'm sure you'd all agree it wasn't the most exciting way to spend a Saturday afternoon."

A few of the seventh year chuckled, fondly remembering that particularly sunny Saturday that we were all forced indoors to listen to McGonagall drone on and on about how to reward and deduct points. I saw Benjy Finwick trying to catch my eye, a lazily smirk spread across his face. He was one of the Prefects that had caused the meeting in the first place.

I turned my attention back towards James, trying to sport the warmest smile I could. "I think that's all for tonight, unless you have something to add?"

James thought for a moment, then slowly shook his head. "No, I think we're good for now." He turned back to the Prefects, slowly standing up as he did so. "So have a good night and be well rested for the first patrols of the year tomorrow."

Everyone murmured soft goodbyes to each other and the Prefects began to clear out, leaving only James and I left in the room. I cleared my throat slightly, trying to push away my insecurities. Now would be a good time to just tell him that I want to be friends, that the whole awkwardly hating each other thing that we did all of last year wouldn't work anymore now that we had to work together.

Before I got a chance to say anything, he looked up at me and gave me a small nod then bide me a goodbye before leaving the room.

I took a deep breath. This was going to be a long year.

**123.**

"How was the meeting?" Alice asked as I flopped down onto my bed.

I stifle a yawn, running my hand through my hair. "It was alright, the Prefects seem really eager this year."

Alice rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant. How was James?"

I shrugged, letting the question linger in the air. "He was alright too, I suppose. Didn't really say much, but I expected that, right?"

Alice pursed her lips together, her kind eyes shadowed with worry. "He'll warm up, he has to. You guys are Head Boy and Girl, for Merlin's sake. You can't ignore each other forever."

I took in these words, letting them wash over me. I never told Alice about what I'd seen either. I knew she'd push me to tell James, and knowing her, I knew she'd be able to convince me.

"Alice… you suppose it's normal to feel lonely?" I paused, letting the weight of the words settle.

Alice smiled gently, her eyes searching mine. "You aren't alone, love, you've got me and Marlene."

"I know that. I mean, you think it's normal that I feel so alone without him?" I look up at her, knowing that I've asked too much of her. There's only so much lying Alice can do to spare my feelings.

Alice shrugged slightly, then laid down on her bed as well, pulling the covers up to her chin. "Why don't you tell him how you feel? I know he's with Alicia now, but you can't keep doing this to yourself. You need an answer, but not from me. You need to tell him how you feel so you can finally move on."

I close my eyes, my throat thick with tears. "You know I can't do that, Alice. He hates me."

"He only hates you because you broke his heart," Alice replies. "And that, that isn't real hate. That's love wounded and hurt, so it lashes out and puts up a front to avoid getting hurt again. I don't think that boy could hate you if he tried. I think he's simply trying to protect his heart by staying away from you."

I turned off the lights, letting these words wash over me, clinging to them as though it was a raft in a sea of dangerous waves. I could feel the loneliness creeping up, taking over my thoughts and heart. If only Alice knew how much I prayed these words were true.


End file.
